Hit a bit of a hurdling block in my Happiness Project. New bad habit that I have been fostering : Whenever I drink with my boyfriend we start out having a really good time and then 'bam' I start going off on some personal issue I'm having. It is probably one of the most pathetic and self indulgent things I have ever done on a regular basis.
Its actually pretty funny. I just suddenly become obessesed with a problem and start blubbering to him and repeating myself. Terribly embarassing, just terrible.
Last nights issue of chioce was "I have no friiiiiends!" hiccup hiccup, tear tear. In all honesty it really is something that Im pretty upset about. All of my good friends are in other states and getting married and having lives that I dont play any part in. And I am absolulty aweful at making new friends. In fact, making new friends and keeping in touch with old ones are both on the list of my Happiness Project.
But last night was an epic fail on the "No Dumping" tab on my list. Do not dump your personal issue shit on your boyfriend like a deranged drunken freak show. Which is exactly what I did, and sadly enough have been known to do frequently in the past. For the most part I only do it after a large intake in alcohol which is probably even worse. Sets a bad sort of precedent, like: "Angie is an emotional drunk and really no fun to be around" which is made even worse becasue its true. Its the weirdest thing. I never have been before. ever. But latley every time I drink and I am around my boyfriend I lose it, in a major way. In an embarassing clinging to an arm, snotty nose, blubbering incoherantly way. This is something that needs to change, immediatly. Its not one that I can "work on and make better" it just needs to desist as of now, implemented immediatly.
On a brighter note I got my health log journal today. Im pretty stoked about it. And I have been running a lot more often again. Hooray for me.
I think I can make it up to him tonight. Sorry for jumping back to the 'drunken mess' topic but Im a little bit preoccupied with it. Right. I will definatly give an awesome apology. Im thinking its lap dance time, who doesnt like a nice apologetic lap dance? Lots of people probably, but Im still going with it. Its on like Donkey Kong ;P
I think of alcohol like an enhancer; that additive that multiplies the content to an extreme. Whatever is preoccupying your mind will ultimately come out during alcohol consumption XD That said please remember that I am your older sister and that your blogs are sometimes disturbing to my delicate perceptions.
ReplyDelete